www.UpTheDeise.com, The Waterford People's Website!
31st October 2004
On a cold Autumn’s night, Mullanimal was excited about the arrival of
Halloween and wanted to "trick or treat," explaining that the
tradition went back many many years. He wanted to dress as a Puca (ghost).
Mullanimal thought back to an older time when he was master of the forests,
where he used kill wild pigs with Brian MucSavage, The Sausage Master. The
Sausage Master told Mullanimal of a magic pig that, if eaten, would imbue its
ingestor with all the knowledge needed to see the end of a friend or foe.
"Fiacla, my young apprentice, I tell you, when we catch this pig, I will
make the finest sausages you have ever eaten and we will feast. And, henceforth,
I will retire, as all my enemies will be slain because of my newfound gift. Thus
I can bequeath you, my boy, with the title of Sausage Master"
Wellboy tucked Mullanimal into his Puca costume and poked two small holes in it
for him to see through. Mullanimal started laughing at Wellboy as he turned off
the TV before they headed out…
Wellboy said, "What are you laughing at, boy!"
"I can seeeeeeee heeee heeee heeeee your……!" giggled Mullanimal.
Wellboy wasn't amused and asked him to explain...
Mullanimal told Wellboy of the sausage master and the pig of knowledge and how
they caught the magic pig on one cold autumn eve...
"Fiacla!" said the sausage master, "fetch me that gutting
stone.…"
And so he did and the sausage master began gutting the pig pulling out and squeezing out his intestines to fill with the sausage meat. The sausage master's hands flailed about like a windmill and he filled and twisted the sausages in the blink of an eye.
"What sausages to behold," exclaimed the master of the sausage.
These were the finest, juiciest sausages that any man ever laid eyes or tongue
on before or since!
The sausage master handed the sausages to Mullanimal, while he cleared away the
cleanly picked carcass. He said, "Put it on the spit my boy, tonight we
shall feast!"
Mullanimal heeded his master's command with haste and began turning the
sausages...
As they browned and expanded and became juicier and juicier, they began to
burst. Mullanimal became anxious that we would over cook them, so he went to
turn down the flame but he slipped and accidentally grabbed a sausage. He burnt
his hand badly. He sucked his blistering palm, and he immediately collapsed into
a spinning vortex of blackness...
When he woke he began giggling as his master approached... His master scowled
and said, "You have eaten..." and then he relaxed his brow... "So
be it... now, the apprentice becomes master... so, my b oy, why do you laugh so
heartily?"
Wellboy interrupted, "so do you have this knowledge, Mullanimal? Can you
see the end of all your foes with the knowledge?"
"Well em," said Mullanimal, "yeah, but only on halloween, and it
is knowledge that truly lets me see the end of my friends and enemies I tell
you." And he burst into uncontrollable laughter and broke wind like there
was nooo tomorrow...
Wellboy looked bemused. "Mullanimal, please explain why you are laughing so
hard..."
Mullanimal said, "The legend of the magic pig was spot on. But it did not
mean what we all thought... Em, when it spoke of all the knowledge needed to see
the end of a friend or foe it meant their bum bum..."
The two laughed and had much merriment for some time before going out trick or
treating...
Wellboy, made Mullanimal walk in front of him...
"Oh, Wellboy", said Mullanimal, "There is one side effect to the
gift... it gives me chronic fart problems, so when I see people's end I cannot
be held responsible for my bum's involuntary spasms..."
With that Wellboy put a peg on his nose and the two wreaked havoc that night...
Some kids trying to light a bonfire had major problems lighting it too.
Mullanimal came to the rescue with his turbo charged raspberry machine. With a
spark from the magic hurl he set the bonfire alight... Cheers rang through the
neighbourhood for the creature known as Mullanimal on that cold Autumn night...