Incident caught by a tourist on videotape
www.UpTheDeise.com, The Waterford People's Website!
20th December 2004
Over the few weeks leading up to Christmas, Mullanimal had been getting more and more agitated due to the multitude of adverts on television. Mullanimal said to Wellboy, "Me must leave as me must give 'The Fat Langer' hee's go!" Wellboy didn't know what he meant by this and didn't really want to know as Mullanimal had been getting very arrogant of late, now that he had the magic hurl back in his possession. Mullanimal had doubled in size since Wellboy first found him. Wellboy felt that he was actually at full strength but only assumed this smaller size and shape so as not to imtimidate him. Mullanimal knew he could be master of Waterford and all of Ireland but the mercy shown to him as he lay helpless and half dead on the side of the road by Wellboy held him back. Mullanimal had come to realise that all his ancient adversaries had passsed and that he was the only creature left with the power bestowed to this ancient breed of warriors, thus there was no-one powerful enough to stop him from dominating the country if he so chose. Wellboy was wary of this power but still had some form of command over Mullanimal though he knew inside it was only through some sort of honour code Mullanimal adhered to.
So anyway back to the story...
Mullanimal had seen some mobile phone adds with Santa Clause on them and thus associated him with Waterford's adversaries in the recent Munster hurling final clash, the Langers, the Rebels or Cork as they are more commonly known. He shouted, "My warrior doppleganger must be avenged, The Fat Langer must pay!"
So Mullanimal went in search of Santa Claus to give him hees go. At this point the penny dropped with Wellboy, he finally figured out what Mullanimal was talking about, but alas, it was too late for him to explain who Santa was to Mullanimal, as he had shot out the door in the blink of an eye. Mullanimal was around in ancient Ireland in a time of Pagan worship, he had no knowlegdge of baby Jesus or of Santa Claus and he didn't know that Santa delivered presents to all the boys and girls in the Deise and around the country from Wexford to Donegal. Wellboy shouted after him, "No Mullanimal, you musn't bate the hed off of Santa he's a good guy" but the creature had sped off. It was too late.
Mullanimal, fueled on red lead and blaas, flew around the deise at light speed where he finally saw santa flying over the deise in a Christmas practice run. As he flew over the Mahon falls, Mullanimal left off a mighty one and flew upward to intercept Santa. As santa came over the mountain, Mullanimal closed in like a heat seeking missile, there may even have been fire trailing from him due to the speed he was travelling. Mullanimal drew closer and closer on Santa until finally POW he broke through the underneath of the sleigh and knocked santa over the side. Santa fell to the ground and bounced before coming to a halt. Mullanimal pounced on his back and tore him to hus feet. He then drew the magic hurl and whelped Santa in the arse sending him flying over the mountains and on as far as Youghal.
Incident caught by a tourist on videotape
Mullanimal dusted his hands off and walked back to road. Wellboy had thought he saw a huge flash of light near the comeragh mountains so he sped there and eventually caught up withe a very pleased looking Mullanimal skipping along the side of the road. Wellboy said, hop in buddy and tell me why you are so happy. Mullanimal explained that he had sent 'The Fat Langer' flying over the comeraghs and that he showed him a thing or two before sending him back to where he came from. Wellboy began crying, "you have killed Santa Claus Mullanimal, now the children won't get any toys to play with this christmas."
Wellboy weeps for the kids of the Deise
Mullanimal exclaimed, "Christmas... Santa... what you on about boy?" Wellboy explained about baby Jesus and about Santa Claus and how all the children of the Deise and beyond have toys delivered by Santa on Baby Jesus' birthday. Mullanimal began crying too. So they drove to Youghal to see was Santa OK.
Mullanimal cries in sorrow and shame over what he's done
When they reached the Youghal bypass they happened upon a large crater on the road but there was no sign of Santa, Mullanimal said, "When I knocked him out of the sleigh he bounced because of his huge belly, maybe he bounced on a bit. So they drove on and eventually found the end of the trail and Killea. Santa clothes were in tatters and he was badly hurt. He was unconcious and needed immediate atteention. Wellboy took a large bottle of the good stuff from the boot of his car and poured some out over santa's cracked lips. Santa woke immediately and scrambed in fear away from Mullanimal... Wellboy explained to Santa that Mullanimal thought he was a Cork Fan and that is why he him. Santa explained who he was to Mullanimal and the creature hung his head in sorrow and shame. He apologised to Santa and Santa being who he is accepted it graciously with a 'Ho Ho Ho' as he does.
Wellboy gave Santa a lift bact to his sleigh and when they got there they found the seigh was broken in half and the reindeers were shook up. Santa said, even if my elves could fix the sleigh in time for Christmas, I don't think I would physically be able to deliver all the gifts world wide. Mullanimal thought deeply for a minute, he calculated how much red lead and blaas it would take him to reach every child in the Deise and beyond, and he shouted to Santa, I'll do it but you must let all the kids out there know that I need blaas and luncheon to get the presents delivered everywhere. Santa was overjoyed and totally forgave Mullanimal. He brought him to the north pole to see the operation and he is there now going through the names of all the good and bad kids in Ireland. Instead of using magic reindeer, Mullanimal will use his rare gift, the side affect of red lead blaas to make him travel around the globe in an instant. All the good kids out there will get their presents he said and I have something really horrible for all those bad kids out there.
Mullanimal demonstrates his gift to Santa
Mullanimal is now ready to deliver presents to the kids in the deise, he is powered up and good to go. Remember to tell all the kids out there to have their blaas ready for Mullanimal as he will need to keep up his strength over the night so that all the children get what they ask for.
Click here to see Mullanimal in action